What A Flashback!

Lately, I've been keeping my 300+ cd's in Allan's car, and I listen to them on the way to work. They all pretty old. Well, not THAT old, cause I'm not that old, but at least 10 years old.  Anyways, today I put on one of my Trisha Yearwood CD's. A song came on called "Little Hercules". I wanted to cry as soon as this song came on.

Back when I was trying to re-activate myself in the church, I used to wear out this CD, because I just love her voice and the use of the piano on her cd's is so gorgeous. I remember listening to this song over and over. At first, when I started listening to the song, it reminded me of my mother, because she worked so much, and put so much on herself, and had so many stresses in her life, that this song just seemed to say what I wanted to say to her, and what I felt about her and all that she does. But, when I started to return to church, and I felt so much pressure from my friends, and even some of my family, that I was overwhelmed a lot, and felt like maybe it's not worth all of this. I felt an overwhelming amount of pressure, being the only member of my family, that is able to attend the temple, because I knew that there were a TON of people waiting for me, to just get things right, so that I could help them with their work. I just didn't know if it was really possible or even worth it.

Anyways, I remember listening to this song, and how applied to my own situation. It, sort of, explained what I felt. It didn't really make me realize anything, or make me feel like my problems were solved, just made me feel validated. I felt like it was ok to feel overwhelmed pressured, and to take a second to breath, and just live, as long as I got back on the horse, and kept going. I am not the type of person that just likes to endure things. I think everything means something, and everything that happens, gives us an opportunity to learn something about ourselves or other people. I TRY to find the positivity in everything, and learn from it. I don't want to just endure to the end. I want to experience, and learn, and grow. Sure, sometimes you just need to push on, and you feel like you are just pushing on and trying to get through one moment, but I HAVE to find something to learn from it, otherwise, all of that enduring, meant nothing. (......and more rambling)

As I listened to the song today, I felt all of the same emotions that I felt then, about my mother, and then later on about myself and my situation. It made me so grateful for the atonement, and so grateful that Heavenly Father loved me so much that he gave me the family that I have. My parents have helped out my family so much and given Allan and I so much support and love. I don't want to say that we couldn't do it without them, because I know that we could do it without them, but I'm so grateful that I don't have to. I am grateful that I can remember those things in the past, so that it can remind me of those feelings, and make me work harder today, so that I don't have to go through it again.

Not only that, but now, when I listen to the song, I think about Jesus and the things that he had to endure, and how strong He was, and how, even when he felt weak and alone, He still kept going, completing the work, because He knew it was just what He had to do for us, to make all of the wonderful things we have today, spiritually, possible.

Growing up, my mom always told us that Heavenly Father has a packet of problems that each one of us has. None are more than we can handle or bear. Sometimes I felt like I couldn't handle it, but I did. She said, some of them are just how it is, and some of them are tests, to see what we'll do and how we'll react to the problem. I'm grateful that Heavenly Father gave me the problems that he did, and the brain that he did, so that I can deal with those problems in a healthy way, and always try to find the positive in them.

In my rambling way, this sweet, yet powerful song (to me) reminded me of all of that, without actually talking about any of this, HA! I just love music, and the ways that it can speak to our hearts and souls in such different ways, each time we listen or play something.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PdAJENIXQd0 Here is the song if you wanna take a listen.

One other thing that I am amazed by, listening to my music again................I STILL KNOW ALL OF THE STINKIN' SONGS, on all of my cd's. HOLY COW!! How much space is that stuff taking up?? I mean, I still know everything. From my Wynonna cd's to Eminem/Dr. Dre to my Brittney Spears (weird faze I was in). That blows my mind. That's at least 12 songs, on roughly 300 cd's (3600 songs! I totally used a calculator. Those songs ruined by ability to do math anymore. Sucks, I used to be WAY good at math.) Next up on the remembering memories from songs, "The Thong Song". HA! If you don't know it, DON'T google it. HA! But I know it..........still. Wow.