In August....maybe July, we found out we were expecting Unit #5. We had really thought, for a while, about having another baby. It was an emotional time, because of the loss of our baby girl, Eleanor, and I wasn't sure if it was the right time, but we tried to put emotions aside, and really think about what Heavenly Father wanted for us, and what we wanted for us.
I found out I was pregnant, and immediately called my doctor, to get the progesterone started. I waited a day or so, to tell Allan. I couldn't figure out if he'd be happy about it, or if he'd be stressed......or really even what I felt about it. I remember, I hid the pregnancy test in the closet, and one day, I pulled it out, and took it into him. I couldn't have been more terrified. I can't say I was happy or excited. I was SCARED! I wasn't allowing myself to feel anything different, but scared.
I walked into the bedroom and handed him the test. I remember him taking a breath, and then asking me how I felt. I asked him how he felt, and he said he was happy, and excited, but nervous. I told him I agreed, but maybe more than nervous.
We got into see the doctor right away, which would be about 2 weeks later, and found out I was 5 weeks along. Dr. Dalley said everything looked really great. She then went into what to expect, for this pregnancy. She explained that I would be seeing a parinatologist, and I would be doing a lot more blood work than I normally would. Plus, 30 weeks in, I would start being monitored twice a week. She also mentioned that she recommends delivering me at 34-35 weeks, but she said we would discuss that at a later date. She knew I was petrified at all of this, and just even the thought that I am doing this again, and have no more control over this pregnancy, as I did over the last pregnancy. So we agreed to just take it moment by moment. She couldn't have been more compassionate and caring.
So with this new news, we decided to tell the kids that mommy had another baby in her tummy. They were excited! They were so happy for us. Sarah, being older, understood more, regarding the loss of Ellie, but was excited. Luke seemed to be the one that more nervous about it. He didn't say he had a baby in his tummy, this time around. He asked if the baby was ok, and we confirmed that it was so far.
We are trying really hard to be excited, but I think petrified really describes how we are feeling right now. So we will see how it goes!
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2 comments:
you don't know me :) i heard about your blog through a good friend. i have been following since you lost your sweet daughter...i hope that's okay :) and not too creepy lol. i could relate to you because i feel like your thoughts and your emotions are so real and so true. and i would have handled things exactly as you have even though at times you thought you were crazy. nothing you said sounded crazy to me at all. anyway, hope this isn't too weird. just wanted to finally comment and say congrats!! i hope everything goes great for you and your family.
Oh, thank you for your sweet comment. And especially for your support. I know we don't know each other, but know I can feel everyone's love for us,even if they don't know us...and no, it's not weird at all. HA! I made it a public blog, so that maybe, if someone stumbled upon it, something I said, on some posting, would validate or even help someone else.
Thanks again!! Hope to hear from you soon!
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