I was hoping that, with this baby, everything would go much better than the last ones, because it's my last...............NOPE.
I went in for my 20 week ultrasound, and the woman found Echo.....something.....bowels, along with a small hole in the lining separating the right side of the heart and the left side of the heart. The technician immediately wanted to know what my results of the blood test for down syndrome was, which I wasn't sure yet. She went and got my file. It said 1/5000 chance, which is great! But with the bowel issues, it's now at 1/2500, and then the heart issue, it's 1/1250..........not as great. I guess the bowel issue is a sign of down syndrome or another large issue.
I came home, depressed. Allan was really excited to hear what was going on with his baby girl, but I didn't have great news. He kept assuring me that everything will be alright, and not to worry. Then he started to tell me that it's ok if this baby has down syndrome, because, according to him, all of the families that he knows, that have a child that is down syndrome are just amazing people. The child is just sweet and amazing, and the siblings of the child are just as great. He said that, of course it'll be hard, but that ultimately, it will be a blessing............(I just love him). I told him I knew, and I loved him for telling me that. I just felt depressed because I felt like everything has been going wrong this week, with trying to run my mom's business for a week, and then this happens. I felt like my job is to be a mother and to be able to create life, and I can't even do that right (pitty party for me).
As time went on, and I talked to a few friends who had the same prognosis, in regards to the bowels, and they said everything turned out just fine. I felt better, a bit. But then I went and saw my doctor..........ugh. She was NOT too concerned with the bowel issue. She was very concerned with the heart issue, and determining where the hole was at, is it in the muscle portion, or is it actually in the lining, creating a pathway from the right to the left sides, other than the normal way. If it's just in the muscle, normally it just repairs itself, as normal...........but if it's in the lining, it will need to be monitored VERY closely and have some possible procedures afterwards to repair it. She is really concerned of blood mixture. She also told me that the baby is SLIGHTLY smaller than she should be, but not by a lot. So she wants to monitor that, and makes sure there isn't any growth restrictions, especially since all of my babies are smaller than they were expecting at 20 weeks. They come out at a normal size, but maybe that is small for me. Instead of being 8 lbs, maybe they are supposed to be 10 lbs.
So, while I am grateful for my doctor being so honest with me and being so cautious and wonderful, now I'm nervous again, HA! I just can't win. HA! I have to go see my parinatologist (high risk pregnancy specialist)............for the 5th pregnancy in a row. It's ok though. I know these professionals are trying to keep the baby and I safe. Just disheartening, but I know it will all work out how it is supposed to, and it'll be ok.
6 comments:
Think of it this way, I was always told the handicapped were very choice spirits and that is why they come to earth this way. I know whatever happens you will both be great parents for her. We will keep you in our prayers.
My four pregnancy was also especially awful and Jalie failed what seemed like every test at first.
I am so sorry to hear that the baby may have some health issues. So much can resolve itself before the baby is born, and I pray it will all be okay. Please keep me posted!
Hang in there, Laurie... Heavenly Father loves you and everything both good and bad that happens has a purpose that's a benefit to us and if we look hard enough, a huge blessing! Also, don't forget that statistics aren't facts and that may be after close monitoring (or even surgical repair, which happens quite a bit), your baby might be just fine. Lots of prayer and faith and leaving things in Heavenly Father's hands so that you don't worry as much... I know it's hard, but it works. We'll be praying for you and your baby girl. Hugs from the Norris!!!!
Regardless of the outcome I'm sure things will be fine. You and Allan are the best. Sorry bout all the stress, remember...he won't give anything you can't handle.
Oh gosh, I'm so sorry to hear this! An added stress to your life, hang in there. Everything will turn out fine regardless of WHAT the outcome is. You can handle it!! My prayers are with you!!!!
We'll keep you in our prayers.
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