About 2 weeks ago, I was presented with the idea of a diet challenge by a few dear, sweet friends of mine. They wanted to start this challenge, with a group of us, that gives us the opportunity to kick habits of eating sugary treats, promote eating more fruits and veggies each day, drink water, and do a bit of exercising each day, along with specific weekly challenges. Not to mention, there was a competitive side of this, as you stood the chance of winning a contest, in our group, along with having the satisfaction of beating some incredibly competitive people. HA! This definitely peaked my interest.
At the time, this idea sounded totally doable, and even fun! I really needed to make some changes in my life, and create better, healthier habits for my 4 children. I hated the spot I was in with my health, and some habits I had gotten in, but really didn't know how to make the changes, or how to implement them for my life. The thought of this overwhelmed me. But, this diet made it so simple, and even fun. So......I TOOK IT!
Unfortunately, I accepted the challenge at one of the worst times in my life. Personally, things were hard, and completely falling apart. I was really overwhelmed with what I needed to do to take care of that aspect of my life, and completely overwhelmed at the thought of what was ahead in that arena. Also, during the week, most weeks, I am a single mother of 4 kids. My husband travels quite a bit, and leaves me very little time to wrap my head around changing any part of my already hectic routine. Trying to change the already bad habits that our family was a part of, during the most stressful point in my life, was pretty much impossible.
My family eats out a lot.....I mean a lot! Especially, when the weeks are hectic and I'm alone with the kids. I find it hard to get all of the things I need to get done, ALONG with making lunches and dinner. Anything extra is hard, and exhausting, so I usually give up on adding making meals in, and we go pick up dinner. Chicken nuggets, cheeseburgers, and french fries, along with water and soda, make up our normal routine. It's not great, and I know it. For me, my diet is different. I pretty much live on Dr. Pepper. I don't eat often, and when I do, they are tiny meals. I don't drink water hardly ever, unless Allan and I go out to a restaurant. My diet consists of Dr. Pepper......and whatever else I can squeeze in there.
Right as the first week of the diet was getting ready to start, I had one of the hardest moments in this personal journey. I was overwhelmed, emotional, and basically, a hot mess. (I'm sorry to the friends who took the brunt of my tears during those phone calls and visits!) The first week came, the first weekly challenge came, and I really was just going through the motions. I made a goal, which was the first challenge. It was realistic, it was easily attainable, and I was excited by it. BUT, I couldn't motivate myself, with the other drama going on, to actually do it.
During the week, I was even more stressed out, and frustrated by this diet now! Not just my personal stuff, but now this diet! I was failing personally, and failing at this diet now too. I was putting so much pressure on myself to do this perfectly, and get it right, and I just couldn't get it all in, AND handle everything else I was going through. I had a few friends say that I really shouldn't try to squeeze this in with what I have going on right now, so it would totally be ok to quit. BUT, that thought made me so so angry! I just hate the thought of quitting anything! I don't like giving up.
So, half way through the week, I made a new personal goal to get me through this diet, and even change my life. I am going to make smaller goals. I am going to celebrate when I haven't had a Dr. Pepper that day. When I have conquered that craving for one day. Right now, that is SO hard. And if I do have one in a day, I only have one. This week, I have had three. This is a HUGE accomplishment, if anyone understood what stress I was under. It's a huge accomplishment because I was having between 2 and 4 cans of Dr. Pepper a day, for years, and that's not including when I went out to eat! So, having one large drink in a day is HUGE! And only have 3 in a 7 day week is even bigger! So, I'm encouraged by that.
Another goal is to make meals at home. Anything I make homemade is always going to be better than what we were doing, so I've been doing that! We have gone out one day this week. That's it!! That's also huge for us! And I've made things that are out of my norm. I am also really conscious about incorporating fruits and vegetables in each meal, which I really wasn't good at before. I'm really trying to make meals that are more well rounded, and healthier. I'm even excited to try new stuff that I have never tried before!
I have really focused on drinking 64oz of water each day, and most days, I blow that out of the water. It's hard to start each day, drinking water, instead of caffeine. But, once I get started, I'm great!! Unless, I get super overwhelmed with everything else, then I choose to give in for that one that I have allowed myself. Plus, I'm able to fall asleep a lot better.
Exercising is different. I'm trying hard to squeeze it in, but on the days when I'm alone, and handling it all on my own, I'm exhausted by 9p, and just can't handle much more. If I had a partner, or some accountability in that area, it might be different. But, I just don't. I do all of the exercising after 9p, and most people do it in the morning, or during the day time hours. So, it's hard. But, I'm aware of it, and really trying hard. In line with doing something for myself, for the last 4 days, I have fallen asleep, while reading a book. I haven't read a book in years, honestly. I choose to clean, and take care of home stuff, rather than do something for me, that requires me to sit and relax and focus on anything else. I'm excited that I allowed myself that little bit of time, while the house was a mess! It's a HUGE change for me, and one that I hope to continue!
What I am doing is not totally by the rules of this diet, and not all within the guidelines, but for everything going on in my life, the modifications I have made for my personal self, is so needed. I am excited, and encouraged by what I'm doing. I am working my way up to what I need to be doing with this diet, but at a slower pace. Diets shouldn't be a flash in the pan, for a short time, I don't believe. Diets should be a lifestyle change, I think. This diet came at exactly the wrong time, but over time, might prove to come at just the right time. Plus, I am teaching myself that imperfection is ok. I am teaching myself to find the beauty in the imperfections. Instead of focusing on what I'm failing at, and striving to be more perfect the next week, to find what I am doing right this week, and try to do even better the next week. I, unlike others in the diet relm, am changing my whole life right now. Not just dropping a few pounds and trying to cut out one or two things. My whole entire life is changing right now. So, baby steps are to be celebrated!! And I am teaching myself how to celebrate them.
Here's to getting healthier, both physically and mentally!!!
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