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| Elliott, fresh out of the oven |
On January 26, 2012, Elliott Ronald Rogers, made his entrance into the world, weighing in at 7lbs 8oz, and 19.5 inches long. To say the least, it was the strangest delivery I've ever had, and also the quickest.
A few weeks ago, my doctors were wanting to induce me at 36 weeks, but they wanted to do an Amnio to make sure the baby's lungs were mature. Unfortunately, the results came back, that his lungs weren't mature enough to be born just yet, so the doctors decided to wait a week, and then go ahead and induce me.
My induction date finally came, and all of the things I had planned ACTUALLY fell into place! Shocker! You know how they tell you to not have a birth plan, because 9 times out of 10, it'll go a completely different direction, so be flexible. Well, I had planned out as much as I could, and just prayed that it would work out. I had requested to have the same nurse, Tammy, I had when I gave birth to Ellie. She has been such a great addition to my life, and she has been a part of such a difficult time in our lives, and helped us through it so much, that I wanted her to be a part of something good, and equally as special. I had messaged her when we were on our way to the hospital, hoping she would respond and say, "Yup, I'm here and waiting for you!", because her schedule had been so crazy lately, not to mention her sister, or sister-in-law was delivering that day aswell, so I wasn't sure if she'd be there. Sure enough, she said she was there, but had a meeting to go to, and had another nurse there waiting for me, and she would see me in a few, after the meeting.
We got to the hospital, finally, and then it hit me......I'm going to have a baby today. All of the things I was scared of, were going to happen today. All of the planning and precautions I had taken, all of the doctors appointments and medicines......I would find out today if it all worked. I was petrified. I was just scared that I had done something wrong along the way, and that would result in another loss, somehow. Every time I would doubt, the baby would kick, and it reassured me he was fine.
We were brought into the room, and introduced to our nurse, Brittney. She was ADORABLE! Within 5 minutes of meeting her, Allan was trying to set her up with another friend of ours. HA! She was so sweet and really helpful. I got hooked up to the monitors, IV'd, pitocined, and had ice chips in hand. I told myself, I would stop worrying and stressing as soon as I was at the hospital, and hooked up to everything, then, it was up to the nurses and doctors to take care of me and the baby, and make good decisions for our benefit. I was able to take a breath and trust that they were good at their jobs, and would do everything possible to deliver a healthy baby and have a healthy mommy. Making that decision, of when I would release the stress, and let it be in their hands, was the most freeing decision I had made. I finally relaxed.
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| Our cute nurse, Britney......she's explaining a bunch of paper work crap, that I was totally zoned out on, half way through. Poor girl. HA! I could probably write the paperwork by now, with how many times I've been at that dang hospital. HA! |
Allan and I had discussed when to get the epidural. I wanted it right away, and he thought I should wait a bit, so the contractions could start. I was nervous for that, because I came into the hospital already dialated to a 4, almost a 5, and I go fast after I get to a 7. So finally, after changing our minds about 4 times on Brittney, the anesthesiologist came in. This is the part of all of child birth that I get nervous about. The epidural. IT HURTS sometimes. I expressed my nervousness, and told him to be gentle and quick. He said he would do his best. HA! I guess he can't guarantee, but I would've appreciated a lie that he was the best ever and I wouldn't feel it. HA! Actually, it didn't feel good, lets be honest, but it wasn't horrible. It was quick, and it wasn't horrible. That's the best compliment I can give a guy who is shoving things into my spine. HA! It wasn't horrible.
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| So, that was after I got the epidural, and I felt a contraction..........I didn't like it. But! It was only 1 of about 10 that I had the whole stinkin time. (I'm totally exaggerating, but really, I didn't have a ton.) |
About an hour later, my mom came down, and brought Allan some lunch. I know, I know, you're thinking he shouldn't be eating lunch when I can't. I actually told him it was fine (and totally meant it!), however, I told him he wasn't allowed to have soda in front of me. HA! He agreed. However, my mom brought him a rootbeer. SHHH! They snuck me a sip or 2 from it. Ah, totally made the day. HA! A few minutes after my mom showed up, Tammy came in to check my progress, and I had dialated to a 7, with very little work from my uterus contracting. HA!
While I was sitting talking to my mom, I mentioned that I was feeling some pressure in my rear, and was joking that the baby was trying to come out the wrong direction. Mom said it is the baby moving down. GREAT!! Tammy walked in, and my mom mentioned this comment to her, so she decided to check me.......then while she was, she said, "The baby's right there. Cross your legs, don't laugh or cough." Odd requests, but I tried hard to comply. HA! She went to call the doctor and about 7 minutes later, in walks Dr. Dalley, calm and happy that I got her out of the office. HA! We had become one of those people that decided to deliver a baby in the middle of business hours, and screwed up everyone's schedule that was waiting there for her. So I promised I would go as fast as I could, so she could get back. She laughed and said she was in no hurry to get back. HAHA!
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| Yup, this is about a few minutes before Dr. Dalley came in to deliver my boy. |
They got me all ready to go, Dr. Dalley requested the NICU nurses in there, and said, "on the next contraction, go ahead and push." Sounds easy enough right, except I wasn't feeling any. Not because of the epidural......I just wasn't having a ton. So instead, I said, "I'm not feeling many, so you just tell me when to push, and I will." So all of us, Allan, me, Dr. Dalley, Tammy and Brittney all turned our attention to the monitor and waited for a contraction to come.....for, I swear, 3 minutes. Nothin. Allan, then, made a smart comment, and I just started laughing. Dr. Dalley had a surprised look on her face. She then told me to cough. So I did. She said, "cough again" so I did. I then asked her if I should turn my head and cough. I then laughed, and she said, "WOAH!" because the baby was coming. We just kept making comments and laughing and out came the baby's head. Next, Dr. Dalley said the worst thing you can ever say to a person with the giggles, "Stop laughing!" I tried hard. HA! She said the cord was around his neck, tight but didn't need to be cut. Then told me to continue. So we did! And out came our baby boy, via laughter and silliness.
Dr. Dalley insisted the baby be put on me, and I noticed that he wasn't breathing well, along with the other people in the room. I was just waiting for that big cry to happen. He had a few, but it was a little labored. So they handed me a blow by oxygen tube and I held it while I held his cute little body. After a few minutes, they handed him over to the NICU team and they worked on him, while Tammy took our camera and was taking pictures of him. Oddly enough, I wasn't worried about him. I knew that whatever these nurses said he needed, that we would do it, without hesitation, and he would be fine eventually. I just had a blind trust in everyone, and I was comfortable with it. There were 10 people in that room, that I knew loved me, and loved our family, and just wanted to take care of us, and have the best outcome possible. I trusted everyone.
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| Just after he was born |
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| Dr. Dalley was explaining what was going on with him, as I was holding the blow by up to him. I'm so glad I got to hold him for that little bit before he had to go |
They decided he needed to go to the "Transitional Nursery" to monitor his breathing, and heart rate, and Allan decided to stay with the baby. Dr. Dalley came over to explain what was going on, but it didn't matter. I knew he'd be fine, and these people would take care of him. I can't remember who, but someone in the room, turned to me and asked, "So, are you going to tell us what the name is finally?" (this whole time, Allan was so antsy because the night before, he gave me the option of Morgan and Elliott, for this boy's name. Those were the 2 favorite names. I had decided Elliott, because Allan loved the idea of honoring Eleanor, by naming her little brother, something similar to her name. But I wouldn't tell Allan if I had decided, or what I had decided until this boy came out. It was just fun to watch him squirm.) Finally, I said, "Yes. His name is Elliott." Allan looked so happy and couldn't wait to call him by his name. He loved it, and I loved how much he loved it. Plus, it was fun to torture him for a while. Now, we just had to pick the middle name for the boy. We had decided we wanted my dad's name, first or middle name, for Elliott's middle name, but we couldn't decide which one. That can wait.
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| Funny ladies from the NICU, helpin my boy out. They were a crack up. |
Before they took him to the nursery, to be monitored, Allan asked if he should go get my mom. I said yes. I wanted her to see him before he went. So Allan slipped out, while the NICU team was working on him, and got my mom. She was teary coming in. I think she had a ton of nerves about this baby, and if everything would be ok with him. Plus, she was worried for me. I can imagine it was hard for her not to be in the room, with her daughter, going through something like this. But we really wanted it to be just us, and I'm so glad that she respected our decision to have it that way. So, I was happy that she got to see him, and hold him. It actually worked out that my Allan AND my mom went with the baby, to the nursery, so she got to be a part of that, and tell me everything Allan was forgetting in the 2 minutes it took to get from the nursery, to my room. HA!
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| Allan asked if they could give him a bottle, since they couldn't calm him down, and they needed his heart rate to go down a bit, so this is him getting his first bottle. |
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| He was a bit hungry, I guess. |
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| Content little boy, holding grandma's finger |
I stayed in the L&D room for a little while, before being transfered to a recovery room. As soon as I got into the recovery room, my step-dad Wayne, and Christine and Justin came to the hospital to visit. I felt bad that they couldn't see him, but I was so happy they came to see me, to bring such pretty flowers......and an even more appreciated dinner. HA!
He was in the nursery for 4 hours, before the NICU doctor came to check him out, per my pediatrician's request. Allan came to my room and told me to come down so I could be there when she got there, and we could talk to her. At about the same time, Vicki showed up with the kids, to meet the baby. They said the kids got to see him through the window of the nursery, so all the way down to the nursery, they followed me, along with Wayne and Christine and Justin, and Sarah got to tell me all about the baby.
When I arrived, the doctor was already there, checking him out. I nervously waited for her to say something, and then, she said, "He has a little fluid in his right lung, but it should work itself out by tomorrow or so, and the retraction you're seeing, is slight. It looks much worse because this bone (pointing to the end of the sternum), is pointing down, so it looks worse than it is. He looks great! I want him to keep his heart rate down for 30 minutes, and if he can do that, then he can go back to your room, and stay with you." HORRAY! I couldn't have been happier and more relieved. I expected an overnight stay, but he didn't have to! While the doctor was there, the kids and Vicki were waiting outside, and Allan asked if they could come and see the baby really fast, since he was the only one in there. The nurses said it was okay, as long as it was one at a time. So while I was breast feeding him, first in was Sarah, and her eyes were soooo big, and she was so excited. She wanted to touch him so badly, but the nurse told them they couldn't touch him. She was so cute and excited. Next in was Luke, and he didn't want to get too close to him, he was a bit nervous, but he said he was so cute and loved him. Finally, Allan came in with Taylor, holding him. Taylor looked at the baby, and said, "Awe, cute baby." And then cried because he wanted to go home with Daddy. HA! Lastly, Vicki was able to come in and see the baby, and she looked exhausted, but so happy that everything was good, and she said he was adorable.
After everyone left, Brittney wheeled me back up to my room, and I settled in, and waited for my boy to come back up to me. Finally, about 9:30p, 4 1/2 hours after he was born, he was in the room with us, and it all felt normal, and real. Occassionally, the nurses would pop in and do what they had to do, like temp check, blood pressure, all of those things, so not much sleep was had, but I didn't care. It was all ok, because He was ok. Finally, my post-partum nurse came in, and brought us the paperwork for the boy. Allan and I were left alone to fill it all out, and we discussed the name. Allan and I both loved Ronald for the middle name, after my dad. We filled out the paper work, and gave it to the nurse. Our son officially had a name. No more guessing and trying to figure it out. Elliott Ronald Rogers.
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| First moments back with his mama |
The next morning, around 6:00 a.m., Dr. Santorum, one of the pediatrician's from our pediatrician's office, came in and checked out Elliott. He said he looked great, and he wanted Elliott to go see Dr. Desimone on Monday or Tuesday for his first appointment. He then said that he would get the discharge orders done, and he could go whenever I was discharged. That was crazy to me! We expected him to stay an extra day, and here he was, after all that, doing 300 times better than the day before, and he could go home! Soon after the pediatrician left, I got up to get showered, and Allan left to go home and shower and grab himself some breakfast/lunch. While he was gone, Tammy surprised me with a visit, and a gift for Elliott. A blue, blankee stuffed animal. It was soooooo adorable. We talked for a bit, and she expressed her love for our family and for me. I wish I was better at expressing myself, because there are so many things, and so much love I have for her, that I wish I could've told her. I hope she knows how much she means to me. She is a part of our family now.
There were tons of visitors that came to the hospital to visit us, which is new, because before, everyone came over when we got home. Michelle (Allan's cousin) came to visit, Kianna Hayden came by (she has been such a great partner this year, trying to navigate the emotions of losing a baby, and having another one soon after), Allan's parents, my parents and younger siblings, and Ashley (a lady from our bereavement group that lost her baby just before me, and got pregnant just after me). It was such an amazing repeat of everyone's love and prayers for us all over again, just like when we lost Ellie. There were so many prayers and so much love given, that you just feel like you can't come down from it. It's so amazing. That's the only way I can describe it.
Finally, our last visitor was Dr. Dalley. She came in, and expected that the baby would have to stay another day, but we surprised her by telling her that he was already discharged! She was SHOCKED! It was a happy shocked. So she said, "Well great!!! Then I guess you can go!" She was so happy for us.
My only regret is that I wish we would've taken a picture of Elliott with Dr. Dalley, and with Tammy, Lisa and Brittney. I just love these ladies. This past year has been so difficult, emotionally and physically, and from start to finish, they have stood behind whatever decision I made and supported whatever I wanted, no matter how nutty it was. Hopefully, one day, I will get to have that picture. It would mean the world to me. I think if I tried to take a picture of Elliott with everyone that has supported and loved us this year, it would actually wear out our camera. HAHA! We are truley blessed. Words don't exist that could adequately express how much love I feel for every one of our friends and family that have loved and supported us, any way they could, through all of this.
I love my little boy. Having him with us, the past week and a half, has made me think of Eleanor, and what I missed with her, BUT, it has made me appreciate how much I have with him. It makes me appreciate how tired I am every day, because he's up all night. It makes me appreciate all of the kisses and love that his brothers and sister give to him every moment they see him. I imagine her, and that interaction they would have with her. But we didn't have that with her. So to finally get to see it, and give it to my other 3 children, is so wonderful to watch. I love how much they love him. I feel like I have given my husband and my other 4 children the greatest gift I could give them. Another member of the family. Baby Elliott. I could never thank Heavenly Father enough for this sweet boy, and this amazing roller coaster we've been on this last year. So many things have been learned, by all of us, and we never would've realized those things without this experience. I can't call it a trial. Because having Eleanor, with us or not, was an amazing gift, and even if she's not with us physically, she's a part of our family, that we remember often, and we love her as much as we do our other children. We are just as proud of her for all of the work she is doing right now, as we are of our other children, and I hope we make her just as proud of us, that we are her family. I can't wait until all 7 of us are reunited again.
So after a long year, of ups and downs and doctors appointments, we welcome Baby Elliott to our family. I hope he can keep up with his brothers and sister........and I hope he finds his voice, because he's gonna need it. HAHA! WE LOVE YOU ELLIOTT!!!
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