It's Official!

Well, it's official. I took a blood test, and it says...........I'M CRAZY!!!

I posted a few week's back, about taking a blood test, because of a positive pregnancy test. A few weeks ago, it said it was negative. That I wasn't pregnant. However, I took another one this week, a urine test. It was CRAZY positive. So, Monday, I took a blood test. It turned out positive. So, Unit #6 is on it's way.

So far, I have been crazy, depressed and really not ok. And that's putting it mildly. We weren't planning on another one this quickly, if at all. But, apparently, someone had other plans for us. I blame Allan. When we told a few people of what was going on, they were.........well, they weren't happy about it. The common reaction was to lecture us (mainly me) about birth control. Like that makes any difference now. They are telling us we will have to move, because we are getting too big. They are pointing out every problem that we will have, because of having this many kids, this close together, and how difficult it's going to be for me. They haven't been happy, excited or anything. A few have, like...........3 people. HA!

Right now, obviously, I am already going crazy, and trying to cope with this myself, and lift myself up, so that I can handle this. I don't need everyone else around me trying to remind me of how difficult it's going to be......I ALREADY KNOW!! I need people around me to be supportive, up beat, and remind me that I can do this, and it'll all be ok. I need people to be my friends, not lecture me. In all honestly, we can handle this. Financially, we are ok. We have enough room in our home, and in our hearts for another member of the family. We love having a new personality to add to our family. Is it sooner than we expected? YES. But, it's already coming, so roll with it, be happy, and help me deal with this. It has really effected me, this last week, so negatively. I have been depressed, not eating, not sleeping well, and I just don't care about life anymore. I have been scared to see anyone, for fear that it will just come up, and I will have to hear about it again, and get lectured.

Allan and I have been talking about this more this week, since the blood test was done. I know he really wants a girl. He wanted Elliott to be a girl, but it wasn't. I know there was a bit of disappointment when we found out it was another boy. I really hope he gets what he wants this time. I feel like I will have let him down, if it's not. I know it's not true, but I want to always give him what he wants, and make him happy. Allan is so excited to see what this next little person is, and how they will be added into our family. His excitement is so infectious, that you can't help but be happy too.

Well, let the weight gain begin!! That sucks. I just lost about 40 pounds! Here it comes back on. Ugh. Life is good, and it'll all work out. Please remind me of this, as I'm throwing up, and giving myself Progesterone, and shots, while chasing it down with Zofran. Please remind me to keep walking. Please hug me a lot, and love me. Please listen to me, as I lose my mind, wondering how I'm going to do this. Please be a good friend. I'm gonna need as many as I can get, I think.