Moving Depression........:(

This week has been a rough week for me. Last week, I was dealing with getting documents signed and emailed off and running stuff all over town for the house, and just busy busy. This week........nothin. Not a darn thing. So, I had a lot of time to think about our decision to buy a house and move. That means, I had a lot of time to go crazy, start bawling, second guess our decision, talk myself back into it, and finally, just be depressed about it, but  know it's the right decision for us.

Normally, when you start the process of buying a house, you talk about it with your spouse or significant other, about a year or so prior to actually making offers. Then you save whatever you need down, and then you get pre-approval, and then you go forth and conquer the housing market. NOT THE ROGERS! Nope, we, instead, talked to Lincoln (Allan's brother, who happens to be a realtor) about 3 weeks ago, started talking on the phone with a mortgage broker and getting him documents needed for pre-approval the next day, and then that same weekend we got pre-approval. Finally, a week and a half later, found a house, put in an offer, and TADA!

So now, this week, I have time to think about what I just did. When we first started looking, we really wanted to stay in our current ward. Why? I love these people. The families in the ward are just amazing. They are all fantastic example to us, and really make our family try harder to be better. The women in the ward have made me grow so much. My testimony has been strengthened tremendously by the women in the Relief Society. We have only been in the ward for 2 years, but I feel like we have been here for more. I feel so at home here. Unfortunately, everyone else likes the ward too, cause there aren't any houses for sale in the ward boundaries. Boo!! So we had to branch out, and branch out some more, and keep going.

This week has been difficult for me, because I have had time to really contemplate the friendships that I've formed in the ward and the changes that I have made because of the friendships in the ward. I think I am sadder because I know, from moving so much in the past, that keeping in touch will be easy at first, and then it will fade away, and eventually, these women won't be in my life anymore. That feels terrible to me. It's part of life, and moving and all of that, but I've never met a group like this before, and I hate to lose it. I hope that I have formed relationships with some of the women, that will carry through, but I just don't know. I hate not knowing.

This week, I had a party that I was supposed to go to, where I would be around all of these wonderful ladies, and then Friday park day. I do not want to go. I want to avoid it, and just sit at home and be depressed like an idiot. I don't know why I want to avoid them. You'd think that I'd want to spend as much time as possible, but no, not me. Weirdo. Don't worry, it makes no sense to me either. I just wanted to stay home, be in my jammies, with my hair up messy, and lay on the couch under a blanket and watch tv with my kids snuggling me. Just until we move, and then it's ok.

If you need to look on the positive side of things, I know that our new ward will probably be just as wonderful, and if I take the time and put in the work, to get to know the ladies, that I'm sure I will form friendships there too..............I just want the ones I already have!! I have prayed about the decision, and I know it's the right decision for our family, but as we all know, some answers to prayers aren't the ones we wanted.

I know this all sounds lame and immature, and it is. Mentally, I know this sounds stupid, and I need to suck it up and get on with it, but my heart is not making as much sense. We are doing the appraisal this weekend or mid-next week, so it'll be down hill after that, as long as the appraisal comes back with the numbers we'd like. Do they still take bribes?? HA! Just kidding.

I am not trying to sound like I'm dependent on my friends, or even a weirdo. It's just rare to come across friends, or acquaintances that you don't have to worry about their morals, or their thinking, or if you've offended them or anything like that. I've never had a group of people to hang out with, where I didn't have to worry about what they were saying around me, or be responsible for them getting home, or anything like that. No judgment of me, no babysitting of them, no yelling because of language or being rude. I can just relax and have fun. It's nice to have people be an influence on you, instead of you being the one that is the example. It's a breath of fresh air.

So, to the ladies of our ward, I will miss you, probably more than you'll miss me. I know you have no idea the impact that you've had on me, and I hope to carry that with me always, and always remember it. We're not moving for another few weeks, but, I figured, I gotta get this out while it's fresh in my mind, before something replaces the thought, HA! I appreciate every one of you. I hope you know how much we have loved knowing you, and appreciate all of the love and acts of service you have given our family. I'm so happy that Heavenly Father placed us where He did. I guess there was a reason for it.